Coping With A Failed IVF/IUI Cycle Or Miscarriage

Unfortunately, for some couples pregnancy remains elusive even after all of the preparation and hard work going into a cycle. What is the difference in pregnancy rates for couples with fertility problems between trying with regular intercourse versus IUI’s?

  • A couple that has been trying for a year and a half and does not have tubal prob- lems, sperm problems or endometriosis has about a 2% chance per month (over the next year) of getting pregnant from regular intercourse.


  • If a similar couple combines Clomid with IUI’s, the expected success rate is 10% per month for up to 3 months.


  • When methods such as acupuncture and mind-body approaches are incorporated, the odds are increased (as the research shows in the following chapters) and can possibly shorten the amount of medicated cycles the couple has to endure.


To check the IVF success rates of your fertility clinic, go to and search by zip code. IVF success rates can vary widely from clinic to clinic, but know that you are not alone if the first, or second cycle does not succeed. If

Failing an IVF or IUI cycle can feel devastating. When faced with a pregnancy loss after a medicated cycle, the sadness and guilt can be overwhelming. “Maybe I should have rested more, not lifted anything, not had that argument with my mother-in-law, etc…” The truth is that nothing you didor didn’t do caused this loss. Take time to grieve and heal without rushing into an- other cycle. Your hormone levels may take a while to normalize after IVF and especially after a miscarriage so be kind to yourself. It’s okay to be angry and to acknowledge your grief. Your spouse or partner may or may not be as supportive as you’d hoped but reaching out to a support group or journaling about your feelings is an important step in the healing process.


If your miscarriage resulted in a D&C, you need to insist on a follow up ultrasound from your specialist to ensure that the process was 100% complete. Many times “products of conception” may be left behind and cause problems with menstrual cycle regulation and bleeding. Enduring a miscarriage is difficult enough, but not having a thorough D&C can prolong the devastation. We also recommend address any scar tissue that might have formed as a result of one or multiple D&C’s with the use of natural enzymes taken after the procedure. Your acupuncturist can provide more information on this.


A “fertility time out” (FTO) might be needed to heal from the constant stress of trying to conceive and only you and your partner will know how long this will be. Let your inner wisdom guide you to a correct resting place, and resume if and when you feel the time is right. Pressure from family, co-workers and friends can ultimately make or break your relationship with your partner if not addressed and the devastation of a failed cycle is often not fully understood by others who have not been fertility- challenged.

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